Guilty Reasons
by Usa-chan
Summary: Heero Angst!!!!!! Poor Poor Hee-chan!!!!! *NON-YAOI!


Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do NOT own ANY of the characters and/or places from Gundam Wing

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do NOT own ANY of the characters and/or places from Gundam Wing. They are NOT mine (though I wish they were) nor will I ever own them!

A/N:

Hey minna-san!!! I am back with another story, and this time it's Gundam Wing! And Heero Torture!!!! Total and complete angsty goodness for our poor Hee-chan! Mwhahahahahaha! I am home alone ALL day today so I am working on both if my stories that are in progress! (I am usually with Sailor Moon) Anyways! I'm talking too much again, Gomen Nasai!! On to the Story!!!

~Usa-chan

Guilty Reasons

Quatre looked into Heero's room worriedly.The wing pilot had scared the hell out of him earlier that day, another suicide mission. Wing had been totaled, it would take weeks to get it working again. Heero himself hadn't come out much better. He had been bloody and battered when Duo found him, his entire body was blood soaked, and he had been unconscious. So, of course, Duo had brought him back to Quatre's house. They had tended to his wounds and left him with a tranquilizer to sleep it off. Now, six hours and 3 bandage changes later, Heero sat at the window, looking out into the vast desert. He had yet to speak a word to anybody, and his stoic demeanor was beginning to put all of the pilots on edge. Even Duo had gotten fed up with trying to talk to him and had stomped out and gone to work on Deathsythe. Quatre sighed softly as he watched Heero, he slowly walked into the room, once again trying to make an effort to get him to talk.

"Heero?" 

"Hn."

Well, at least he had gotten a 'hn' instead of silence like he did last time. 

"Heero," he tried again, "you need to eat something, you lost a lot of blood." Heero didn't even turn around. He just kept staring silently out the window. Quatre sighed again heavily, and walked out. He would try again later.

After he left, Heero slowly turned around and looked at the now vacant doorway. He wanted somebody to talk to, he needed to talk. Alas, he could not, he was feeling these emotions; this deep remorse for the blood of the innocents tainting his body, tainting his life. He didn't know what to do, he kept remembering, remembering the people that he had killed. 

"I'm sorry…" he whispered softly into the silence. He stared once again out the window. His head was throbbing, as were his many wounds. He got up, a little too quickly, making him dizzy. He stood for a minute and waited for the room to stop spinning, the made his way to his bed. He curled up protectively in the covers, and fell into a restless sleep.

_So many faces, pale and whitening all the more with their death. Covered in blood…so much blood…all over him. Pain…too much pain….can't…can't breathe! Help! Too much! I can't….._

Heero shot straight up in his bed, sweat and tears running down his face. He brought a hand up to his face as that thought registered. "Tears..?" He whispered softly, "Is this…crying?"

"Yes." A voice answered him, an oddly familiar voice. Heero looked up to see Duo standing over him. He made no attempt to wipe his eyes, just stared in an awed silence at his partner, his friend.

Duo slowly sat down, he never could have imagined this. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes he wouldn't have believed it. The complete anguish in Heero's eyes was almost unbearable to look at.

"Bad dream?"

"Yeah…"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Hn."

"I didn't think so." Duo slowly started to get up, but Heero stopped him.

"Wh…why does it hurt so much….?" Heero's voice was but a mere whisper, strained and horse. Duo turned around, and his heart broke as he looked at the man. No, he wasn't a man, he was but a boy, only fifteen, too young to see the things he did. Heero's head was hung low, chin almost touching his chest. His beautiful cobalt eyes were closed, his unruly brown hair covering them. Duo could take it no more, looking at the 'Perfect Soldier' in such a vulnerable position. He immediately got to the bed and grabbed Heero in a brotherly hug. The Wing pilot burried his head in Duo's chest, finally letting it all go. Inbetween sobs he choked his whole story out: The horrible training he had to endure, the remorse, extreme and total guilt for all the innocents, the pain he had lived with all his life. Duo held him tighter, whispering soothingly as Heero cried, sobs wracking his small frame. Finally, after wearing himself out, he fell asleep. 

"We'll get through this Heero, you're gonna be okay." He slid out of the wing pilots grasp and walked softly across the room. With one last glance, he left Heero to his dreams.

Ending Note: Okay! This is NOT NOT NOT yaoi!!! I have nothing against yaoi! Don't get me wrong! But this is not though it may seem so. This is a story about all the pilots helping a close friend in need of help. That's it. I am not very good a yaoi, therefore I don't write it. Thanks! And as always, I need 2 reviews for he first chapter before I continue! Thank you everybody!

~ Usa-chan


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